Trust

God IS Good! God DOES Good. 

And God works all things together for YOUR good! - Christine Caine

       Having a revelation of Yahweh’s goodness is vital in trusting that He will do what is best in your life. (Psalm 119:68) That He will protect you (2nd Thessalonians 3:3) and guide you in the best direction for your life (Psalm 23:8). That He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5-6).

       If you are doubting His goodness (and we have all been there), be honest with Him about it. Ask the Holy Spirit to come in and minister to that area of your heart that is full of pain and doubt and is struggling to trust Him (Lana Vawser). He wants to minister to you. He longs to have a real relationship with you and be a part of every aspect of your life to make it better! Not just better, the best, greater than you could ever imagine (Ephesians 3:20)! That is how GOOD HE IS!

       Fun story about trust: One semester I was burned out to say the least. I was ready to quit my master’s program and just crawl into a deep dark hole and just be alone. I was so tired and did not have anything in me left to give to anyone else. I did not have one more paper left in me to write. I thought that I was so far behind in the program that I was past the point of no return. I emailed my advisor and told her I was out, and she encouraged me to talk to my professor. I spoke to my professor, and she told me I was barely late on one paper. That was it. I needed to write one paper, but I just did not have it in me. 

       I was talking to my friend about it all and she said I had not been myself lately. She had not heard me sing, or laugh, or joke in quite a while. She started to ask me questions that was basically an assessment for depression, and I answered yes to pretty much all of them. She asked me why I wanted to quit school and I told her that I just did not have it in me anymore. To be honest though, I truly thought I was so far behind, like three or four assignments behind. 

What does that say about the overwhelming confusion of the enemy and the powers of depression? 

        I had not told anyone how I was feeling because I did not have the energy to have them try to cheer me up or encourage me. I did not have the energy to pray like I used to. I was so tired. That night after talking to my advisor, professor and then my friend I laid in bed and just said to my Father, “I say every day that I trust You, but I don’t think that I really do.” I fell asleep and woke up the next morning at 6am completely energized, ready to write my paper. I kid you not, I got up at 6am and wrote my paper and turned it in.

       I was finally honest with myself and Him that I was not able to trust Him. Was He mad? Nope. Did He punish me? Nope. Could He handle it? Yup. It was not about anything that He did or did not do. It was that my mental health was hurting, I was tapped out and I did not have it in me to trust Him. What changed is that I finally got honest about it, and He was able to step in and help me. However, please note that I did not have some two-hour long prayer session. I literally said one sentence. What I quoted above are the actual words that came out of my mouth. Yes, I said them aloud, and then I fell asleep. That was it.

Please do not take anything in my story as a recipe for what you need to do, however, give it a try, in your own words and what makes sense for you.

       Romans 8:28 tells us that Yahweh works all things together for the good of those who love Him, and who are called according to His purpose. Well, only you know if you love Him or not, but if there is any confusion on if you are “called” or not, let’s clear that up. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are His masterpiece, created in Christ Yeshua for good works, which Yahweh prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. He created us with a specific purpose in mind. That includes you! Let’s think about this for a minute. When I think about my boys, I get excited seeing them excited.       

For example, I do not care about basketball near as much and my son does, but because he LOVES it, I love it! I get excited watching him play, taking him to NBA games or trying to find ways to surprise him with basketball things that he likes. Well, if I’m an imperfect human being, and I love giving good gifts to my boys, and I am made in Yahweh’s image… what does that say about Yahweh? (Genesis 1:26)

       Yeshua said it pretty well in Matthew 7 verses 7-11, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being sinful, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” If we get excited about surprising our kids, how much more does our Heavenly Father find joy in our joy!

       My friend once said to me, “I just don’t want to give up control.” So, what you are saying is… you can handle it better than Yahweh? I used to struggle with fear over my boys, big time! I worried about anything and everything that could possibly go wrong. Finally, I felt the Lord challenge me about my fear and the death grip that I had on my boys.

       Yahweh said to me “Do you think you can protect your boys better than I can?" Um, well, no! Of course not. You can see everything while I can only see this tiny portion. “So then why won’t you surrender your children to Me, and trust that I will protect them?” That was a major revelation moment for me! I seriously was gripped with fear and torment over what if’s on a daily basis, as if I trusted my worry to protect them better than their Creator could. How did that make sense?

       At first it was very difficult. Very, very difficult, but after a while of continually declaring aloud that I surrender my life, and my children’s lives to Magen (Hebrew: My Lord is my shield and protector, Psalm 3:3), and that I trusted Him with them, it became a lot easier. I also plead the blood of Yeshua over them daily and thank Him for assigning His angels to marshal the borders and boundaries of their sphere of influence. (Commanding Your Morning, Cindy Trimm)

       Fun story, when I first separated from my husband, I moved out into a place in the woods. While it was just me and the boys, I prayed daily for John to get healthy and for our family to be mended. There were many times I would become fearful at night, and I shared this with my landlord. She told me something that helped changed my perspective. She said that when her children were little her husband worked nights about an hour away from home and she was a bit fearful at night, and Yahweh gave her vision of massive, soldier-like angels that were stomping along the property protecting them. I started envisioning them at night and it really helped me to sleep soundly knowing we were protected by the most powerful being in existence.

        Another fun story, years later, one night my boys and I were in my room having our "talk time" and my teenage son told me a wonderful story (said with sarcasm) about how he and his teenage friends were driving and hit a deer. They were in a tiny car and the deer should have demolished the car, but instead the deer literally fell over and they ended up driving over it. Not only was the car not demolished but there was barely any damage to it whatsoever. I wanted to freak out and ask how fast the kid was driving, but instead I just looked at him and asked, “Do you know why it was not worse?” and he replied, “because you plead the blood of Yeshua over me every day?” I said, “Yup”.

       The fear does not grip me like it did, and when it does creep in, I am quicker to remind myself that my fear cannot protect them. Lying in bed awake at night (it’s usually at night when the fear takes over… isn’t that interesting?) worrying and growing anxious about what could happen is not going to keep them safe. Think about that. Since when does worrying about something help? When does anxiety fix anything? Take some time to write down certain areas you do NOT trust the Holy Spirit with, and then present them to Him!