Our House

Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord.

Psalm 27: 14

     Many years ago, I became friends with the mother of one of my sons' classmates, Robyn. I lived with my two boys in a 950 sq. ft. apartment at the time. It was a beautiful apartment on a great piece of property, 30 seconds from the kids’ school, but we were growing out of it. Robyn’s husband, Derek, was diagnosed with cancer and her mother moved into my apartment building, two doors down.

       Throughout the time Derek had cancer (from which he was healed, Praise the Lord!!!), Robyn, her mother, and I started spending more time together and growing closer. It was around 2016 that I went to Robyn’s house for the first time. It is very difficult to describe how I felt when I walked in her home, but I will do my best. Honestly, it was like I was home. It was not like I felt “at home” in her house. I felt “at home” at my mom’s house, and my sister’s house. This was different. I felt like the house belonged to me, it was very strange.

        I’m sure I said, “I love your house” so much that it probably made them very uncomfortable. A few times after visiting I finally said, “I want your house”, and to my surprise Robyn replied, “I want you to have this house.” WHAT? Who says that? It was not on the market. To my knowledge at the time, they were not trying to sell the house, so why would she say that?

       As time went on it became more and more evident that one day that house was going to belong to me. However, on paper I did not look good to the banks. Remember, Yahweh told me not to work for three years, so I did not have two years of great tax returns, which is needed to purchase a home. How in the world was this going to happen?

       While living in the apartment, I watched this sermon about having a house of Acts. Basically, meaning that in your house you would have signs, wonders and miracles take place like in the book of Acts. It blew up in my spirit and I started praying, “Father, that’s what I want. I want a house of Acts! I want to glorify you in my home.” Well, He answered that prayer, thus beginning the birth of the promise of our house!

       Let’s back up just a little bit to 2014. I was in the coffee shop not far from the apartment because I did not have WIFI yet. I hear this pretty loud man talking about the glory of God, and I was so intrigued I prayed, “Father, let him come talk to me.” On his way out, he stops at my table and said, “Whatcha workin’ on?”. His name was Tom, and well, long story short he ended up praying for me outside of the coffee shop that day and blew the shofar over me. (Side note: A shofar is a horn mentioned in the Word about 100 times. I highly suggest you study them!)

       That encounter lifted a heaviness off me that I had been struggling with since my husband past. Later, I got to meet his wonderful wife and father and he has been a powerful and spot on prophetic voice in my life to this day. For years now, anytime I am struggling with something or ask Yahweh for a word, I will get an unsolicited call from Tom and he’ll either say, “The Holy Spirit told me to call you, what’s up?” or “I got a word from the Father for you” and it is always exactly what I need to overcome what I am dealing with!

Let’s talk what the Word has to say about the different gifts of the Spirit in 1st Corinthians 12:

4 There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5 There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. 6 And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. 7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all: 8 for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit, 10 to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. 11 But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills.

       We all have a spiritual gift that comes from the Father, to use for His glory. Romans 11:29 says, “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” Therefore, people can still work in these gifts even if it is not for the glory of Yahweh, nor are they receiving their information from Him, but from another source. Meaning there is a counterfeit to everything that Yahweh created! Some think of prophecy as fortune telling and that is not the case.

       Back to Tom, after months of him calling me with encouraging and accurate words from the Lord, we both felt in our spirit that the Father wanted us to get together with others to glorify Yahweh with these gifts. We started having gatherings in my apartment. Yes, in my 950 sq. ft. apartment. I invited my friends, and Tom invited some people he knew, and we just watched the Holy Spirit do His thing.

       After a few times Tom invited his friends who walked in different spiritual gifts to come do whatever the Holy Spirit had in mind. It was powerful and beautiful seeing people set free from torment, heaviness lifted off, some were healed (including me), and words were given that revived us of our weariness. One time he brought a man that prayed over me, and he said that when he walked up to the front door of my apartment, he heard the Father say, “I’m going to give her that house.” I bawled like a baby in front of everyone. If you know me, you know that is something I do not like to do. Robyn and her mom were there to witness it. My faith grew even stronger for our house! Not long after that, Derek told me he had a dream of me owning that house. His house.

       Really? Again, I did not look good on paper to any bank, so how in the world was the Lord going to do this? However, all these instances made my faith impenetrable. In September of 2019, I know that I know that I know I heard in my spirit the Lord say, “Pack!”. So, I did, I started packing. It got to where my entire apartment was filled with boxes to the ceiling, and it stayed that way for over a year. He said it to me so clear that I never unpacked. We had what we needed to live still unpacked.

       That same month Robyn and Derek bought a house in another city. It was time. Ok, Lord, how are you going to do this? I started meeting with banks and mortgage companies and kept hearing, yes, yes, yes until it came down to approving me and then, NOPE. All I could hear was, “You’re not good enough. We don’t trust that you will pay your bills.” Anger and frustration set in.

I know what You told me, Father. I trust that You can do it, but how? When? I need it to go through. They are going to move and need to put this house on the market. It will sell so quick, it’s such a great house. They had put so much love into it! I love it, and You promised it to me! It is MINE! What are You doing, Father?

       Then another unsolicited call from Tom with a word, “There is a crack in your armor, frustration. Don’t let the enemy chip away at your armor with his lies. Do not align yourself with the lies of the enemy.” Wow. Exactly what I needed at that very moment. That’s exactly how Yahweh uses Tom every single time! That revived my faith for a while. Until more time went by, and I kept getting rejected.

        Then one day we were supposed to have a gathering at my apartment. Tom had driven three hours to be there, and no one could come but Robyn. That had never happened before, nor has it happened since. Coincidence? I think not. Robyn gets in her car to come to my apartment, and she has a flat tire on her very nice off-road tire! Coincidence? I think not. Tom said, “We are supposed to go over there.” I asked Robyn if we could come over and she said we could, so we went to her house (a.k.a. our house). Tom prays over the house and blows the shofar! He hears clearly from the Lord that this house belonged to me, and it was going to be mine.

        All of this sounds crazy, I know. Sounds too good to be true. Delusional, even. Well, just hold on. Robyn and Derek finally move their entire family to the new house, and we had to discuss what we were going to do. Well, they believed with me that this house belonged to me, and that Yahweh was going to move mountains to make it happen. That was clearly the works of the Lord!

       While I worked with multiple banks and mortgage companies, they waited and held the house for me. Who does that? They needed to sell this house to renovate the house they were currently living in!  

 January 2021 comes along, and it is time for me to move out of my apartment, but where am I supposed to go? I found a place where I could live for a month or two fully furnished for the same price as I was paying for rent, I had my family booked for that weekend to help me move, and I found a storage room to keep my things until I moved. I leave the apartment to get a storage space and Robyn texts me to find out what is going on. I tell her my plan and she replied, “Derek said move into the house!”. WHAT? Are you sure? I did not want anything to come between us in our relationship! She said they were sure, and I had three days to move my entire apartment. Thank the Lord I listened and obeyed when He told me to pack, right? There was no way I could have packed and moved in three days!

       I moved in on January 2, 2021. I should be happy right? I should be thankful! I was thankful, but this spirit of heaviness came over me. Now the pressure was really on. I am living in their house! I must close, and fast. February 29th was supposed to be the closing date, it came and went, and we did not close. Depression set in. I felt like a burden. I was holding them back from moving on. I could not see past this cloud of lies the enemy was speaking to me.

       Unfortunately, I aligned myself with those lies and the torment began. We must watch out for those lies, the deceit. The enemy is a liar, and boy is he good at it. That is why we are to renew our minds daily with the word, but sometimes that is not enough. Sometimes the enemy uses the word and devotionals against us. To push our buttons and hook those lies. Trauma wounds get pushed, “You’re not good enough. You are a burden. They would be better off without you.” THOSE ARE LIES!!! Do NOT listen to them. Rebuke them the MOMENT they begin and do NOT let them take root!

       This is why isolation is a killer. It feels good, boy does it feel good to just sit by myself and for no one to need me. I do not mind my boys needing me, but that is it. No one else. Do not call or text me. Do not expect anything from me. Just let me sit and do what is best for me and my boys.

        But wait. Isn’t the calling on my life to help others? Did Yahweh not call me to dispel the lies of the enemy when it comes to suicide? How can I do that when I isolate and do not talk to anyone else?

        Wait a minute. I feel the most alive and fulfilled when I am with others and help them through their trauma. Why would I want to isolate?

       Aha. Lightbulb. The enemy’s plan has been made clear. He wants me to isolate so that I cannot fullfil the call on my life. So that I continue to feel empty and alone. Now I see. Think about it, the first thing the Creator of the Universe said when He created man was, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Women, an entire gender, were created for this very reason! So of course, the enemy wants us to be alone so he can get in our head, and we do not have someone outside of our head reminding us that he is lying to us!

       This past July, I had been sick for two weeks and even though I felt awful I enjoyed the rest. I enjoyed no one expecting anything from me. Then one day my friend showed up out of the blue and it put the biggest smile on my face! I felt like a child having to force my face to stop smiling. I had such a good conversation with her, and it made me feel so much lighter to have her spend time with me. The Lord used her impromptu visit to turn my darkness into light!

       Even though interacting with other people may exhaust us, we need it, and it is good for us. Think about it like exercising. It wears us out but, if done properly, it is good for our bodies! Fellowship is good for our souls. I do not mean specifically in a church. I believe it is good for us to fellowship with each other, whatever that looks like. In a house, a coffee shop, or even just sitting together and not talking. We do not need to get hung up on what it “should be”. I think we “should ourselves” too much, as my friend Angie would say.

       Back to the house. I found a mortgage company who worked their tail off to somehow make all that I had look good to the underwriters and they finally approved me! It was not easy. It was incredibly hard to wait on the Lord, to trust His timing, and to keep the faith. I hate when people write in books and they say, “It took a few years, but the Lord’s timing is perfect.” Like they were just easy, breezy waiting on the Lord with no struggle. No, it was hard. At first the faith was easy, but when I moved in and did not legally own it and they were waiting on me (it felt like), it grew more and more difficult as time went on.

         Yes, the Lord’s timing is always perfect, and He does see the bigger picture that we do not see. He knows the end from the beginning according to Isaiah 46:10. While, yes, we are supposed to trust Him and keep the faith, we also need to remember that He created us and knows our hearts, as well as the enemy’s tactics.

       Lamentations 3:22-23 says that His mercy is new every single morning. So that when we do not keep the faith, and we do not trust Him (which we need to be honest about), He understands and forgives, and is merciful and gentle with us!

Praise the Lord, we closed on August 3rd, 2021! To Yahweh be all the glory!

       I feel the Lord telling me to point out that it took place right at the end of getting over a sickness that made me feel horrible. So, it was hard for me to celebrate. At this same time so many of my friends were dealing with heaviness and fighting lies from the enemy. I was listening to a sermon Robyn had sent me, and in my spirit, I heard, “the enemy couldn’t steal your promise, so he is trying to steal your praise.”

       Remember that he does that. So, when you finally get your promise and feel like you cannot celebrate, cannot enjoy it, the enemy could not steal your promise, but he may be trying to steal your praise. I think the Lord said, “he is trying to” because it is up to us to give him the power. That is not to shame you, but to empower you and remind you of the authority and POWER you hold! In 2nd Timothy 1:7 Paul says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER and of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND.”

       It may seem as though there were bunny trails when talking about the miracle Yahweh provided with this house. However, I believe the Holy Spirit wanted you to read everything in this chapter just how it is! Take some time to think about the promises He has given you, those fulfilled and not yet fulfilled. Do not let anyone, even the voice in your head, talk you out of standing in faith for your promise! Most of all, do not let the enemy steal your praise!! Whether in the waiting, or in the celebration!

       What promises are you waiting on? Remember He is faithful, and His timing is perfect, even if it does not line up with ours! He knows what He is doing!